| so let me fill you all in on the joy that is my life.
ive had my heart broken.
it breaks over and over with every thought, every memory, every time i hear a voice, a song, a name, a band, a movie, every time someone talks about their bf/gf...every time al kisses alyssa, every time he tells her he loves her, i cant help but think its bullshit, because its bullshit so much of the time, that its hard to count on it being true. ever. i know sitting here crying my eyeballs out doesnt change anything....i know it will never ever change anything, dance is really starting to stress me out. and i hate the fact that it is. its like all i have left. the ONLY thing i have left, because ive lost EVERYTHING else. everything. maybe im just in a bad mood, or reality is really starting to sink in, but either way, the tears wont stop and my heart is racing. if i could go back to when everything was perfect, i would, because id like to remember how it felt to smile because i was happy. it seems i have some growing up to do. i know ive realized that people change, and that feelings change, and nothing lasts....so far, thats all i got. NOTHING LASTS. and im done trying. just done. because if i end up like this every time....i guess some things just arent worth it.
-fin |
--- yep. the end.